50 years on

Over the dining table my mum was griping about my apparent lack of scientific knowledge. To which I retorted that she had failed her high school Science AND Geog. She gave my dad a glare and sarcastically claimed that if my dad (read: Geog major) had helped her, she wouldn't have failed. My dear folks, that happened in 1956! 50 years on, the feud ensues.

Bobbert wonders

Where has the person gone
When he was 18 and ready to take the world
To have had the energy to hold on for so long
Without expecting anything in return

I miss that person. Who at 18 commited himself to something he couldn't possibly have. He was genuinely contented just to be on the side. Though nothing ever materialised, he generally had fond memories of those 3 years of his life. Now the thing has passed. He can faithfully say that things are better than before. He thanks God everyday for the friendship that developed out of that.

I wonder where did he go. That person who was perhaps foolishly brave. To have held on for so long. Is something that daunts me no end.

I need him back. For the circumstances demands it. Though he fell in another incident years later. I'm sure he will be around to be found. If not for anyone's sake but his own.

Bobbert is sorry

Bobbert has come to the realisation that inadvertently he has caused much grieve to someone who is dear to him. To that he is very sorry. Bobbert now knows that he let his desires get in the way of the friendship, at a crucial time that you needed him to be just your friend. As a result, Bobbert couldn't give you the emotional, spiritual support that you needed. Bobbert knows he needs to step back and fulfil the role of your best friend and he asks for your forgiveness and patience. Bobbert also know that he has allowed himself to be clouded by his fears and thus inhibited him from understanding you. The understanding that was so special between us.

Bobbert now knows that he has to turn back and knows that he has to wait his chance. Bobbert promises to walk with you though this journey.

When something hits the fan

I ended 2005 with a huge bang. Good grades, great trip, balanced. Couldn't have asked for more. So I sat at the dining table at Wallingford Apt in Philly vividly telling Jeremiah that 2006 will be just as good if not better. You probably guessed by now 2006 is nothing like what I had envisioned. And I had to have my History prof to kindly point out to me that maybe God had misheard my words and that 2006 will be a GROWTH year. Yeah...God does have a strange sense of humour sometimes

Read this today in Daily Bread

All God's testings have a purpose
Someday you will see the light
All He asks is that you trust Him
Walk by faith and not by sight
(Zoller)

Beginning to see the implications of the message to be patient.

Sundays with Bruce

Sundays with Bruce
An old History geek
A young History geek
Life's greatest lessons

Warms my heart to know that in the hustle and bustle of NUS, there are the odd souls who are genuinely interested in the lives of their students. To that, I'm eternally grateful.

Ain't Enough

This is a song written by my dear friend Lyndon which I find very sincere and at times speaks about my state of mind.

Ain't Enough

Another bus stop on another rainy night
You're all alone again alone with your thoughts
Somehow it always ends the same
Maybe you are the one to blame

You wish you could fly away
Fly away from here

You're caught up in dreams and you're spinning around
When you're up there you wish that you'd never come down
Ot makes you feel better and it's easier this way
But it ain't enough to get you through the day

Another failed attempt and another disappointment
No one was there to catch you when you fell
You don't know how to turn your life around
Seems like the answer can't be found

You wish you could fly away
Fly away from here

In your imagination there is a perfect world
You go there when you hurt
It is a place where you can simply be
But what are you going to do when you are back in reality

Yeah....speaks for itself. Don't you get the feeling sometimes that whatever you do or whatever you say it's never enough? At the end of the day its you who isn't enough.......